


Do Robots Dream of Electric Pineapples

by kristin



Category: Psych
Genre: Character of Color, Yuletide, challenge:Yuletide 2008, recipient:pocketmouse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-25
Updated: 2008-12-25
Packaged: 2017-10-15 06:18:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/157879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kristin/pseuds/kristin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gus blamed it on Jamie Westfield. It didn't matter that he was only nine years old, or that he had only been trying to hire them.</p><p>It was totally his fault Shawn turned out to actually be a robot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do Robots Dream of Electric Pineapples

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much to sab for helping me with this.

Gus blamed it on Jamie Westfield. It didn't matter that he was only nine years old, or that he had only been trying to hire them.

It was totally his fault Shawn turned out to actually be a robot.

* * *

Jamie had come to the Psych office on a Tuesday. Gus knew this because he and Shawn had been having their weekly 'who can eat the most hot peppers' competition. (Also, Gus had been wearing his green tie. That was a Tuesday tie.) He had been winning, of course, when Jamie walked in.

"Are you the psychic detectives?" he asked. He was a scrawny little kid with dark slanted eyes and very cool Pumas on his feet. Gus approved.

"That would be me," answered Shawn, "not him." He pointed at Gus with the flourish that spun his chair around. "He's just the help." Shawn was not a graceful loser.

"I'm Jamie Westfield," said the kid. He stuck out his hand towards Spencer, who shook it with exaggerated movements. Gus held out his hand, but Jamie ignored it. Shawn tried to shake it instead, but Gus batted him away.

"Shawn Spencer, what can _I_ do for you?" He squinted at the kid, obviously trying to divine his purpose.

"I need you to find my parents," Jamie said solemnly.

"You aren't lost, and your parents are at your house." Gus didn't bother to ask how Shawn knew this, but he nodded his head for emphasis anyway.

"I mean my biological parents." Tears were welling in Jamie's eyes. Gus felt sympathy tears form in his own. Damn overactive tear ducts! Jamie reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture of a smiling white couple, magazine pretty. "They refuse to admit I'm adopted."

"How do you know they aren't your bio parents?" Shawn asked. He had a puzzled look on his face. "Did you find incriminating letters? Mysterious lack of baby pictures?"

Jamie looked mad. Gus could understand that. "Look at the picture," he said. "My teacher told us about genes in class. They can't be my real parents."

Gus nodded understandingly. "You might not have been adopted. There are explanations beyond that. Do your grandparents all have blue eyes?" Jamie nodded. "Have you tried talking to your parents?"

"Wait, I still don't get it. How do we know those aren't his parents?" Shawn was pulling one of his thinky faces. He really didn't know. Gus was totally the winner of the day.

"Shawn, the people in the picture have blue eyes. Two people with blue eyes are statistically likely to have a child with blue eyes. Plus, you know, they're white."

"Wait, both my parents have blue eyes. And my grandparents. And I am totally not adopted." Shawn was back to looking smug.

"It's always been my theory that you're a robot." Shawn looked far too upset for Gus to take pleasure from schooling him. Okay, that was a lie, but he wasn't as happy about it as he would have been otherwise.

"Excuse us Jamie, I sense a strange disturbance in the psychic force that requires out attention." Shawn started pushing Jamie out of the office with one hand, though he didn't get very far because he was trying to drag Gus with the other. Jamie gave them a weird look and walked out under his own power. Gus dug his heels in and demanded an explanation.

"No time for that Gus! We need to go to the source on this one!"

"We're going to see Jamie's parents?"

"No, we're going to see my dad."

* * *

When they got to Mr. Spencer's house, and Gus would have to be eighty before he even thought about calling it anything else, even inside his head, Shawn dove out of the car, yelling for his father before he was even to the porch.

"Dad, Dad!" Shawn tripped over his own feet, before he reached the door. He really needed to learn not to run while his shoes were unlaced. His sudden stop allowed Gus to catch up with him by the time Henry stuck his head out the door.

"Yes, Shawn?" Henry was arching his eyebrow. His voice was calm. Gus sometimes thought he was a robot too.

"Dad, am I adopted? Because you and Mom both have blue eyes. Do I have birth parents? Was I abandoned on your doorstep? Did my real mother die tragically in a pineapple picking accident?" Shawn ran out of breath at that point and began taking heaving breaths while Henry and Gus looked on.

Henry waited a beat to see if Shawn would start up again, then began talking. "Actually you're a robot, which makes it even more absurd that it took you this long to realize Madeline and I aren't your biological parents."

Gus felt vindicated. He had known... "Wait. Shawn is actually a robot." Henry nodded. Huh.

Shawn seemed to be having similar thoughts, if his thunderstruck expression was anything to go by.

"Where did you get him?" If Shawn was actually a robot, and Gus was willing to go with that explanation, then he needed a cool origin story. (Gus was definitely not planning on turning Shawn's story into a comic book.)

"I brought him back with me from the future."

"How?"

"Time machine." While Gus and Henry were having this totally awesome and reasonable conversation, Shawn started to come out of his trance like stillness. Gus wondered if he was retrieving information.

Dude, his best friend was a robot. This was awesome!

* * *

But, as Gus came to find out, having a robot for a best friend was not all awesome. Shawn figured out how to withstand heat, which, okay, was awesome. But it also meant Gus was totally losing this week's 'how many peppers can you eat' contest. Gus blamed Jamie.

  



End file.
